Christmas Kidnapping
by Quisty878
Summary: Just a silly Christmas story. Squall is awakened by a screaming Selphie because someone had stolen baby Jesus!


Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy VIII, not the characters, the world, the plot, etc. They are property of Squaresoft.

**Christmas Kidnapping**

Squall awoke on a sunny Saturday morning, Christmas Eve, to incessant banging and screaming at the door of his room. He looked at the clock. 7:00 AM.

_So much for sleeping in today._

"Hold on!" He yelled, "I'll be there in a minute!"

The young commander threw on a shirt over his pajama pants and sleepily plodded over to the door.

He was greeted with a weeping Selphie, along with five other young girls who were in the same state.

"What the hell?" He asked.

"Squall!" Selphie wailed, "Someone stole baby Jesus from our nativity!"

He put his fingers on his temples and rubbed, trying to process what was just said. "Is this some kind of joke, Selphie? I'm not in the mood."

Selphie grabbed his arm, "No, I'm serious! Someone stole him! We've gotta find the baby, Squall!"

Squall sighed, "What do you want me to do, send SeeDs all over Garden interrogating people and searching rooms?"

"YES!" All six girls cried in unison.

"Okay, that's ridiculous. Look, why don't you girls search for the thief yourself?"

Selphie put her hands on her hips, "Just because you're a scrooge doesn't mean we should all suffer!"

He groaned, "Fine, I'll help you. I'll get Irvine and Zell to help out, too."

They spent a good part of the morning broken up into two small groups. By that time, Rinoa and Quistis had joined the search. Rinoa was equally upset about the theft of the babe. By noon, Squall was tired of it, and just wanted to go to his room and have some time off.

"Guys, we can just get another friggin' doll." Squall finally said.

Selphie pouted, "But what about our baby? We've gotta find him, Squall! He's just a baby!"

"He's an inanimate object that represents a religious icon, Selphie. Besides, what did that thing cost, 10 gil? We can replace it." Squall replied.

Just as he was saying this, Zell came running over. "We've got a break in the case!"

Rinoa grinned, "What is it?"

Zell took a moment to catch his breath before speaking, "Some kid was overheard

bragging to his friends that he stole something from Garden. Thought it was cool."

"What's his name?" Squall asked.

"Joseph Watkins."

Squall approached the young blonde Joseph from behind, Selphie in tow. He could hear the boy bragging to his friends.

"Yeah, I stole Garden property. Got past security and everything!" He boasted.

"Well, that's probably because we don't post guards to watch over the nativity scene." Squall said, grabbing the kid's arm and turning him around.

Joseph's eyes widened, "What are you talking about? I wasn't…"

"Shut up and come with me." Squall spat, annoyed that this little brat had ruined his Saturday morning.

"Look, I didn't steal that thing, okay?" Joseph claimed as he sat in a chair in Squall's office.

"A search of your dormitory will prove that." Squall replied.

Irvine came out of the elevator, grinning and holding the small baby figurine in his arms. "Found him!"

"Oh, yay!" Selphie squealed, running over and taking the baby gently into her arms, as though it was real.

"Yep, safe and sound, little lady." Irvine said proudly.

"Now we punish the babynapper!" Rinoa cried.

Squall shook his head and looked at Joseph, "Really, why would you steal a baby Jesus figure? That's just…wrong."

The boy shifted nervously, "I just thought it would be funny."

Squall scowled, "What exactly is funny about sending six hysterical females to my door at seven-o-clock on a Saturday morning? What part of that am I supposed to find amusing?"

"Throw him in the prison downstairs and torture him!' Selphie yelled.

"That's a little extreme, Selphie. It's a doll." Squall said.

"It's a BABY!" She shrieked.

He rolled his eyes. "I think a little public humiliation will suffice, although this will go on the record as a theft."

Justin looked at Squall and gulped. "What exactly do you mean by public humiliation?"

"You will issue a formal apology to the entire Garden over the loudspeaker." Squall stated.

"Hey! The students will never let me live it down! My reputation will go down the drain!" Justin retorted.

"You should have thought about that before you stole little baby Jesus." Rinoa concluded.

Justin did issue an apology, and the other students had a field day with it. He earned the nickname 'kidnapper' amongst the Garden populous. Squall was happy that he had to pay for ruining the day. He took Rinoa's hand and they went back to his room to spend some time together for the holiday.


End file.
